Waiter, there is a spider drowning in my soup !It hardly looks deep enough to drown in sir !

Waiter, there is a worm on my plate !That’s not a worm sir, it’s your sausage ?

Waiter, there is a fly in my wine !Well you did ask for something with a little body in it!

Waiter, there is a fly in my soup !Yes sir, thats the manager, the last customer was a witch doctor !

Waiter, my lunch is talking to me !Well you did ask for a tongue sandwich !

Waiter, there’s a fly in my soup !Yes, it’s the rotting meat that attracts them !

Waiter, are there snails on the menu !Yes sir, they must have escaped from the kitchen !

Waiter, there is a mosquito in my soup !Don’t worry sir, they don’t eat much !

Waiter: Why didn’t you make all the food on that long order?Cook: Because I’m a short order cook.

Customer: I thought the meals here were supposed to be like mother used to make.Waiter: They are. She couldn’t cook either.

Diner: Could I have a glass of water?Waiter: To drink?Diner: No, I want to rinse out a few things.

Waiter, waiter! There’s a dead spider in my soup. Yes, ma’am, they can’t stand the boiling water.