Golfer: “I’d move heaven and earth to be able to break 100 on this course.”Caddy: “Try heaven. You’ve already moved most of the earth.”

Golfer: “Well, I have never played this badly before!Caddy: “I didn’t realize you had played before, sir.”

Golfer: “Caddy, do you think my game is improving?”Caddy: “Oh yes, sir! You miss the ball much closer than you used to.”

Golfer: “Please stop checking your watch all the time, caddy. It’s distracting!”Caddy: “This isn’t a watch, sir, its a compass!”

Golfer: “Caddy, do you think it is a sin to play golf on Sunday?”Caddy: “The way you play, sir, it’s a sin any day of the week!”

The schoolteacher was taking her first golfing lesson.”Is the word spelt p-u-t or p-u-t-t?” she asked the instructor.”P-u-t-t is correct,” he replied.”Put means to place a thing where you want it. Putt means merely a vain attempt to do the same thing.”

A couple of old guys were golfing when one said he was going to Dr. Taylor for a new set of dentures in the morning.His friend remarked that he had gone to the same dentist a few years before. “Is that so?” the first said. “Did he do a good job?””Well, I was on the […]

After a particularly poor game of golf, a popular club member skipped the clubhouse and started to go home. As he was walking to the parking lot to get his car, a policeman stopped him and asked, “Did you tee off on the sixteenth hole about twenty minutes ago?” “Yes,” the golfer responded. “Did you […]

A young man who was also an avid golfer found himself with a few hours to spare one afternoon. He figured if he hurried and played very fast, he could get in nine holes before he had to head home. Just as he was about to tee off an old gentleman shuffled onto the tee […]

A golfer, playing a round by himself, is about to tee off, and a greasy little salesman runs up to him, and yells, “Wait! Before you tee off, I have something really amazing to show you!” The golfer, annoyed, says, “What is it?” “It’s a special golf ball,” says the salesman. “You can never lose […]

A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. Engineer: What’s with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes! Doctor: I don’t know, but I’ve never seen such ineptitude! Pastor: Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let’s have a word with him. [dramatic […]

Joe decides to take his boss Phil to play 9 holes on their lunch. While both men are playing excellent they are often held up by two women in front of them moving at a very slow pace. Joe offers to talk to the women and see if they can speed it up a bit. […]