What do you get if you drop a piano on a team’s defence?A flat back four!

Why did the goal post get angry?Because the bar was rattled!

What is the bank manager’s favourite type of football?Fiver side!

What part of a football ground is never the same?The changing rooms!

What should a football team do if the pitch is flooded?Bring on their subs!

Our team is doing so badly that “Manager of the Month” isn’t an award.It’s an appointment!

Did you hear about the football team who ate too much pudding?They got jellygated!

Which insect didn’t play well in goal?The fumble bee!

What did the bumble bee striker say?Hive scored!

What is black and white and black and white and black and white?A Newcastle fan rolling down a hill!

What did they call Dracula when he won the league?The champire!

What are Brazilian fans called?Brazil nuts!