Why do managers bring suitcases along to away games ?So that they can pack the defence !

Q: What’s the difference between David Beckham and an airplane model kit? A: One’s a glueless kit and the other’s a clueless git!

Why were the two managers sitting around sketching crockery before the start of the game ?It was a cup draw !

How many Man U. fans does it take to change a lightbulb?One to change the lightbulb, and one to drive down to Kent to pick him/her up.

Where do football directors go when they are fed up ?The bored room !

Did you hear about the underwater snooker player?He was a pool shark!

Manager: I thought I told you to lose weight. What happened to your three week diet ?Player: I finished it in three days !

Q: What’s the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?A: A bad golfer goes, WHACK! “Damn.” A bad skydiver goes, “Damn.” WHACK!

Manager: Twenty teams in the league and you lot finish bottom ?Captain: Well, it could have been worse.Manager: How ?Captain: There could have been more teams in the league !

Q: What did the football say to the football player?A: I get a kick out of you.

Why are football grounds odd ?Because you can sit in the stands but can’t stand in the sits !

Bob and Tom both like to golf. One day Bob went to Tom and said, “Hey look at this great ball!” Tom replied, “What’s so great about it?” Bob said, “Well if you lose it, it will beep until you find it, and if it goes into the water it will float. This ball is […]