Why did the goal post get angry ?Because the bar was rattled !

What is the bank manager’s favourite type of football ?Fiver side !

What part of a football ground is never the same ?The changing rooms !

What should a football team do if the pitch is flooded ?Bring on their subs !

Did you hear about the football team who ate too much pudding ?They got jellygated !

Ref:I’m sending you off Player: What for ?Ref: The rest of the match !

Why do artists never win when they play football ?They keep drawing !

What is a runner’s favourite subject in school ?Jog-raphy !

Where do spiders play their FA Cup final ?Webley stadium !

What stories are told by basketball players ?Tall stories !

How do you stop squirrels playing football in the garden ?Hide the ball, it drives them nuts !

Q: What is the difference between Liverpool football and a tea bag? A: The tea bag stays in the cup longer.