How are you doing in arithmetic ?I’ve learned to add up the zeros, but the numbers are still giving me trouble.

Mother: Did you enjoy the school outing, dear ?Jane: Yes, and we’re going again tomorrow.Mother: Really ? Why’s that ?Jane: To try and find the kids we left behind.

Why were you late ?Sorry, teacher, I overslept.You mean you need to sleep at home too !

Teacher: That’s quite a cough you have there, what are you taking for it ?Pupil: I don’t know teacher. What will you give me ?

Our teacher talks to herself does yours ?Yes, but she does’t realise it, she thinks we’re actually listening !

Teacher: Why do you want to work in a bank, Alan? Fred: ‘Cuz there’s money in it, sir.

Teacher: Didn’t you know the bell had gone? Fred: I didn’t take it, Miss.

What’s the longest piece of furniture in the school? The multiplication table.

Teacher: What happened to your homework? Pupil: I made it into a paper plane and someone hijacked it.

School Principal: I’ve called you into my office, Peter, because I want to talk to you about two words I wish you wouldn’t use so often. One is “great” and the other is “lousy.” Peter: Certainly, sir. What are they?

‘I’m not going to school today,’ Alexander said to his mother. ‘The teachers bully me and the boys in my class don’t like me.’ ‘Why ?”Firstly, you’re 35 years old. Secondly, you’re the principal.’

Boy to Friend: I’m sorry, I won’t be able to go out after school. I promised Dad that I would stay in and help him with my homework.