An ideal homework excuseTeacher: Where is your homework?Pupil: I was mugged on the way to school and the mugger took everything I had

Where did all the cuts and blood come from?The school went on a trip!

What’s the worst thing you’re likely to find in the school cafeteria?The food!

What kind of food do maths teachers eat?Square meals!

The food in our school canteen is perfect.If your a bug!

What’s black and white all over and difficult?An exam paper!

Why aren’t you doing very well in history?Because the teacher keeps asking about things that happened before I was born!

What was King Arthur’s favourite game?Knights and crosses!

Did they play tennis in ancient Egypt?Yes, the bible tells how Joseph served in Pharoah’s court!

Father: How do you like going to school?Son: The going bit is fine, as is the coming home bit too, but I’m not too keen on the time in-between!

When a teacher closes his eyes, why should it remind him of an empty classroom?Because there are no pupils to see!

Why did the teacher put the lights on?Because the class was so dim!