Son: I can’t go to school today. Father: Why not?Son: I don’t feel wellTeacher: Where don’t you feel well?Son: In school!
Teacher: I’ll call you Fred Smith then.Pupil: My dad won’t like that.Teacher: Why is that?Pupil: He doesn’t like people taking the Mickey out of my name!
I failed every subject except for algebra.How did you keep from failing that?I didn’t take algebra!
Teacher: Are you good at math?Pupil: Yes and noTeacher: What do you mean?Pupil: Yes, I’m no good at math!
Teacher: Why is the Mississippi such an unusual river?Pupil: Because it has four eyes and can’t see!
Teacher: Now class, whatever I ask, I want you to all answer at once. How much is six plus 4?Class: At once!
Where did the pilgrims land when they came to America?On their feet!
Teacher: Class, we will have only half a day of school this morning.Class: Hooray!Teacher: We will have the other half this afternoon!
Teacher: Is Lapland heavily populated?Class: No, there are not many Lapps to the mile!Teacher: Name an animal that lives in Lapland!Pupil: A reindeerTeacher: Good, now name another.Class: Another reindeer!
Teacher: That’s quite a cough you have there, what are you taking for it?Pupil: I don’t know teacher. What will you give me?
Why aren’t you doing very well in history?Because the teacher keeps asking about things that happened before I was born!
