Teacher: Can anyone tell me how many seconds there are in a year?Pupil: 12 – 2nd January, 2nd February…!
An ideal homework excuseTeacher: Where is your homework?Pupil: Our furnace stopped working and we had to burn it to stop ourselves from freezing
Mother: What did you learn in school todaySon: How to write Mother: What did you write?Son: I don’t know, they haven’t taught us how to read yet!
Father: I hear you skipped school to play footballSon: No I didn’t, and I have the fish to prove it!
A history jokeTeacher: When was Rome built?Pupil: At night.Teacher: Why did you say that?Pupil: Because my Dad always says that Rome wasn’t built in a day!
Pupil: My teacher was mad with me because I didn’t know where the Rockies were.Mother: Well next time remember where you put things!
Mother: What was the first thing you learned in class?Daughter: How to talk without moving my lips!
Teacher: What’s big and yellow and comes in the morning to brighten a mothers day?Pupil: The school bus!
Teacher: You aren’t paying attention to me. Are you having trouble hearing?Pupil: No, teacher I’m having trouble listening!
Son: I can’t go to school today. Father: Why not?Son: I don’t feel wellTeacher: Where don’t you feel well?Son: In school!
Teacher: I’ll call you Fred Smith then.Pupil: My dad won’t like that.Teacher: Why is that?Pupil: He doesn’t like people taking the Mickey out of my name!
