A college business professor could not help but notice that one of his students was late to class for the third time that week. Before class ended he went around the room asking students some questions about the day’s lecture. Of course, he made sure to pick on his tardy pupil. “And who was it […]

A linguistics professor was lecturing to his English class one day. “In English,” he said, “A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative.”A voice from the back of the room […]

A professor was giving a big test one day to his students. He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait. Once the test was over, the students all handed the tests back in. The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his […]

One day our professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept. A pre-med student rudely interrupted to ask, “Why do we have to learn this pointless information””To save lives.” the professor responded quickly and continued the lecture.A few minutes later, the same student spoke up again. “So how does physics save lives?” he persisted.”It keeps the […]

A student called up his Mom one evening from his college and asked her for some money, because he was broke.His Mother said, “Sure, sweetie. I will send you some money. You also left your economics book here when you visited two weeks ago. Do you want me to send that up too?””Uhh, oh yeah, […]

Introductory Chemistry was taught at Duke University for many years by professor Bonk. One year, two guys took the class and did pretty well on all the quizzes and mid-terms–so much so that going into the final, they each had a solid A. These two friends were so confident going into the final that the […]

Fred came home from his first day at school. “Nothing exciting happened”, he told his mother, “Except the teacher didn’t know how to spell cat so I told her”

What happens if you draw on the blackboard and the teacher told you not to?She draws a smack!

Pupil: I don’t think I deserved zero on this test!Teacher: I agree, but that’s the lowest mark I could give you!

Father: You were absent on the day of the test?Son: No but the boy who sits next to me was!

“It’s clear” said the teacher, “That you haven’t studied your geography. What’s your excuse?” “Well, my dad says the world is changing every day . So I decided to wait until it settles down!”

An ideal homework excuseTeacher: Where is your homework?Pupil: I put it in a safe, but lost the combination!