A man sobering up from the night before is sitting through the Sunday sermon, finding it long and boring. Still feeling hung over and tired, he finally nods off. The priest has been watching him all along, noticing his apparent hangover and is disgusted. At the end of the sermon, the preacher decides to make […]
Mortal: What is a million years like to you? God: Like one second. Mortal: What is a million dollars like to you? God: Like one penny. Mortal: Can I have a penny? God: Just a second.
God looks down and notices that Adam is all alone while all the animals have companions, so he decides to create a companion for man as well. He comes to see Adam and says to him, “Adam, you are my greatest creation and therefore, I am going to create for you the ultimate companion. She […]
Sometimes women are overly suspicious of their husbands. When Adam stayed out very late for a few nights, Eve became upset. “You’re running around with other women,” she charged.”You’re being unreasonable,” Adam responded. “You’re the only woman on earth.” The quarrel continued until Adam fell asleep, only to be awakened by someone poking him in […]
A Baptist missionary was walking in Africa when he heard the ominous padding of a lion behind him. “Oh Lord,” prayed the missionary, “Grant in Thy goodness that the lion walking behind me is a good Christian lion.” And then, in the silence that followed, the missionary heard the lion praying too: “Oh Lord,” he […]
There is a story about a monastery in Europe perched high on a cliff several hundred feet in the air.The only way to reach the monastery was to be suspended in a basket which was pulled to the top by several monks who pulled and tugged with all their strength.Obviously the ride up the steep […]
A Catholic Priest and a Rabbi were chatting one day when the conversation turned to a discussion of job descriptions and promotion.”What do you have to look forward to in way of a promotion in your job?” asked the Rabbi.”Well, I’m next in line for the Monsignor’s job.” replied the Priest.”Yes, and then what?” asked […]
Q: Why did God create man before woman? A: He didn’t want any advice.
Doctor: ‘Your recovery was a miracle!’ Patient: ‘PRAISE GOD. Now I don’t have to pay you!’
Q: Why did Moses wander in the desert for 40 years? A: Even then men wouldn’t ask for directions!
A Christian man had just died and was on his way to heaven. When he got to the gates of heaven he met an angel. The angel asked him what God’s name was. ‘Oh that’s easy,’ the man replied, ‘His name is Andy.’ ‘What make you think his name is Andy?’ the angel asked incredulously. […]
