Police Chief: Why did you tie a rope on that criminal?Officer: You ordered me to get a line on the suspect.

Police Chief: Why do you spend all your time trying to hit flies?Officer: You assigned me to the swat team, didn’t you?

Policeman: Now, sir, how did you come to have this accident?Motorist: Well, the sign just there says, `Stop ? Look ? Listen’. And while I was doing that the train hit me.

The police are looking for a thief with one eye Why don’t they use two?

Police officer: And what do you think you are doing on this road, Dracula? Dracula: Looking for the main artery, officer.

What did the police officer say to his stomach? I’ve got you under a vest.

What nickname did the police give to the new blonde woman police officer? A fair cop.

What nickname did the police give to the new blonde woman police officer? A fair cop.

Two Rangers stopped a guy for speeding on the state highway in Waxahachie, Texas. As they were writing up the ticket, one Ranger turned to the other and said, “How do you spell Waxahachie?”The other one replied, “I don’t know.”So the first one said, “Well what are we gong to do? If we spell it […]

A defense attorney was cross-examining a police officer duringa felony trial – it went like this:Q. Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene?A. No sir, but I subsequently observed a person matching thedescription of the offender running several blocks away.Q. Officer, who provided this description?A. The officer who responded to the scene.Q. A […]

A local law enforcement officer stops a car for traveling faster thanthe posted speed limit. Since he’s in a good mood that day he decidesto give the poor fellow a break and write him out a warning instead of aticket. So, he asks the man his name.”Fred,” he replies. Fred what?” the officer asks. “Just […]

A local policeman had just finished his shift one cold November evening and was at home with his wife. You just won’t believe what happened this evening , in all my years on the force I’ve never seen anything like it. Oh yes dear, what happened ? I came across two guys down by the […]