A lawyer named Strange died, and his friend asked the tombstone maker to inscribe on his tombstone, “Here lies Strange, an honest man, and a lawyer.” The inscriber insisted that such an inscription would be confusing, for passersby would tend to think that three men were buried under the stone. However he suggested an alternative: […]
A local United Way office realized that it had neverreceived a donation from the town’s most successful lawyer. The personin charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute.”Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000,you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn’t you like to give back to […]
What’s the difference between a lawyer and atrampoline?You should take your workboots off beforeyou jump on a trampoline.
What is the proper weight for a lawyer?About 3 pounds, …….not counting the urn!
A big-city lawyer was representing the railroad in a lawsuit filed by an old rancher. The rancher’s prize bull was missing from the section through which the railroad passed. The rancher only wanted to be paid the fair value of the bull. The case was scheduled to be tried before the justice of the peace […]
If two lawyers were drowning, and you could only save one ofthem, would you read the paper or go to lunch?
A defendant was on trial for murder. There was very strong evidence indicating guilt, but no corpse had been found. In the defense’s closing statement the lawyer, knowing that his client would probably be convicted, decided to try a trick. “Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have a surprise for you all,” the lawyer […]
A lawyer with insomnia consulted her doctor. “Which side is it best to lie on?” she asked.”The side that pays your fee,” replied the doctor.
The bartender asks him “What’ll you have?”. The guy answers, “A scotch, please”. The bartender hands him the drink, and says “That’ll be five dollars”, to which he replies “What are you talking about? I don’t owe you anything for this”.A lawyer, sitting nearby and overhearing the conversation, then says to the bartender, “You know, […]
