How does a witch make scrambled eggs? She holds the pan and gets two friends to make the stove shake with fright.
I went to see my doctor to see if he could help me give up smoking. What did he say? He suggested that every time I felt like a smoke I should reach for a bar of chocolate. Did that do any good? No – I can’t get the chocolate to light.
Boy: What’s black, slimy, with hairy legs and eyes on stalks? Mom: Eat the cookies and don’t worry about what’s in the tin.
What did the snake say when he was offered a piece of cheese for dinner? Thank you, I’ll just have a slither.
Fred: I thought there was a choice for lunch today. . Cook: There is. Fred: No, there isn’t. There’s only cheese pie. Cook: You can choose to eat it or leave it.
Say something soft and sweet to me. Dracula: Marshmallows, chocolate fudge cake…
Mom: Fred, there were two chocolate cakes in the larder yesterday, and now there’s only one. Why? Fred: I don’t know. It must have been so dark I didn’t see the other one.
Fred! What did I say I’d do if I found you with your fingers in the butter again? That’s funny, Mom. I can’t remember either.
