Why don’t apples smile when you go bobbing ?Because they’re crab apples !

What do you get if you cross a jogger with an apple pie ?Puff pastry !

Why did Eve want to move to New York ?She fell for the Big Apple !

What did the Gorilla do with the apple he was holding in his hands?He brought it to school and said, ‘An Ape-lle for the teacher!’

How do you make an apple turnover? Push it down hill.

If an apple a day keeps the doctor away, what does an onion do? Keeps everyone away.

Dad, do you like baked apples? Yes son, why? The orchard’s on fire.

What do you get if you cross an apple with a shellfish? A crab apple !

The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.

Two boys were eating a snack lunch in the school yard. One had an apple and the other said, “Watch out for worms won’t you!” The first one replied, “Why should I? They can watch out for themselves.”

How do you get the most apples at Halloween? Take a snorkel.

Fred came rushing in to his Dad. “Dad!” he puffed, “is it true that an apple a day keeps the doctor away?” “That’s what they say,” said his Dad. “Well, give me an apple quick ? I’ve just broken the doctor’s window!”