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A magician was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audiencewould bedifferent each week, so the magician allowed himself to do the sametricks over and overagain. There was only one problem: The captain’s parrot saw the showseach week andbegan to understand how the magician did every trick. Once heunderstood he startedshouting in the […]
A group of Americans was touring Ireland. One of the women in the group was a real curmudgeon, constantly complaining. The bus seats are uncomfortable.The food is terrible. It’s too hot. It’s too cold. The accommodations are awful.The group arrived at the site of the famous Blarney Stone. “Good luck will be followin’ ya all […]
Father O’Mally has been preaching at his church in Ireland for solong, that he decides to take a vacation. He has never been marriedand he is curious as to what an American endures in everyday life. So,he decides to go to the States before it is too late. He hops on theplane bound for Nevada. […]
A traveller pulls into a hotel around midnight and asks the clerk for a single room. As the clerk fills out the paperwork, the man looks around and sees a gorgeous blonde sitting in the lobby. He tells the clerk to wait while he disappears into the lobby. After a minute he comes back, with […]
“Room Service? Can you send up a towel?” “Please wait, someone else is using it.”
A not so rich couple decided to stay at a very exclusive hotel for a night. The manager immediately recognized them for what they are but could not throw them out, instead he decided to be clever. In the morning the couple came to settle the bill and were surprized to find they owe $3000.”How’s […]
There was some mix-up with a woman’s room. Theclerk (or whatever they are called on ships) wastrying to remedy the situation. He asked, “Would youlike an inside cabin or an outside cabin?” Shereplied, “Well, it looks like it might rain today.I’d better get an inside cabin.”
Someone — always a man — always asks, “does theship run on generators?” The Cruise Director usuallytells them, “No, we just have a very long power linerunning to the mainland.”
I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Capetown.started to explain the length of the flight and the passportinformation when she interrupted me with “I’m not trying to make you look stupid, but Cape Town is in Massachusetts.” Without trying to make her look like the stupid one, I calmly explained, […]
The frightened tourist: “Are there any bats in this cave?”The guide: “There were, but don’t worry, the snakes ate all of them.”
The tourist: “Can you tell me why so many famous Civil War battles were fought on National Park Sites?”
