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Did you hear about the farmer who lost control of his tractor in the cow pasture? No! Did he hurt the cows? No, he just grazed them!
A summer visitor asked the farmer how long cows should be milked. “Oh, I reckon about the same as short ones!” the farmer answered.
Cow: Why don’t you shoo those flies? Bull: I’ll let them go barefoot!
College meals are generally unpopular with those who have to eat them and sometimes with good reason. “What kind of pie do you call this?” asked one student indignantly.”What’s it taste like?” asked the cook.””Glue!””Then it’s apple pie the plum pie tastes like soap.”
A son is calling his mom from college, and telling her that he had just got his degree. The mother says: That’s great honey! What kind of degree? And the son, almost squealing with excitement says: The best one ever, a Celsius degree!
“Now my motto in life,” said the school chaplain, “is work hard, play hard and pray hard. How about you, Harriet?””My motto is let bygones be bygones.””That’s good. Why did you choose that?””Then I wouldn’t have to take any history classes!”
Q: What do college students and deer have in common?A: They both stand in the middle of the road and stare at your headlights.
A college friend was going to meet a young lady he new.”An old flame? I asked.He winked and said, “More like an unlit match.”
Q: How many graduate students does it take to change a light bulb? A: Only one, but it may take him/her more than five years to do it.
The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, so too the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time. Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will incur a hefty fine of $180. […]
Q. How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?A. Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
A college student in a philosophy class was taking his first examination. On the paper there was a single line which simply said: “Is this a question?” – Discuss. After a short time he wrote: “If that is a question, then this is an answer.” The student received an “A” on the exam. A Boston […]
