Short bad funny jokesShort good, free, clean and best funny jokes

What is posthumous work ?Something written by someone after they are dead !

What did the little kid do with the dead battery?He buried it.

What is the last thing you eat before you die?You bite the dust.

Vampire 1: “I once went so long without fresh blood that I nearly died.” Vampire 2: “How awful!” Vampire 1: “Yes. Fortunately, I found some in the neck of time.”

I’ve been e-mailing William Shakespeare.William Shakespeare’s dead, silly.No wonder he hasn’t replied.

If a woman is born in Italy, grows up in England, goes to America and dies in Baltimore, what is she?Dead.

My brother’s a professional boxer. Heavyweight ?No, featherweight. He tickles his opponents to death !

A monster and a zombie went into a funeral home. ‘I’d like to order a coffin for a friend of mine who has just died,’ said the monster. ‘Certainly ma’am,’ said the undertaker, ‘but there was really no need to bring her with you.’

What kind of ghosts haunt operating theatres? Surgical spirits.

How do you make a Venetian blind?Poke him in the eye

Doctor, doctor, I’m at death’s door! Don’t worry, Mrs Jenkins. An operation will soon pull you through.

A man is calling on his best friend to pay a condolence call the day after the friend’s wife has died. When he knocks on the door, he gets no answer, so he decides to go in and see if everything is all right. Upon entering the house, the man discovers his friend in the […]