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A man walked into a gift shop that sold religious items. Nearthe cash register he saw a display of caps with “WWJD”printed on all of them. He was puzzled over what the letterscould mean, but couldn’t figure it out, so he asked the clerk.The clerk replied that the letters stood for “What Would JesusDo”, and […]
A priest was vested in his surplus and cassock ready to process at the beginning of the service. His surplus was very ornate and he was swinging the incense pot which had smoke coming from it. A lady touched him on the shoulder and said, “Darling, I love your dress; but your purse is on […]
Before performing a baptism, the priest approached the young father and said solemnly, “Baptism is a serious step. Are you prepared for it?””I think so,” the man replied. “My wife has made appetizers and we have a caterer coming to provide plenty of cookies and cakes for all of our guests.””I don’t mean that,” the […]
Johnny is walking along and a priest is coming the other way. Johnny says, “Hey, mister, why are you wearing your collar backwards?”The priest says, “Because I’m a father.”Johnny says, “Yeah? Well, my old man’s got three kids and he don’t wear his collar backwards.”The priest says “You don’t understand, son. I have thousands of […]
The church was conducting its annual fund drive. One member of the congregation said, “I give ten dollars.” Just then, a piece of plaster fell from the ceiling and landed on his head. He spoke up again quickly. “I give a thousand dollars!”The minister said, “Lord, hit him again!”
And Jesus said unto his disciples, “Whom do men say that I am?”And His disciples answered unto Him, “Master, thou art the supreme eschatological manifestation of omnipotent ecclesiastical authority, the absolute, divine, sacerdotal monarch.”And Jesus said, “What?”
While leading the Friday evening services, the Rabbi noticed a member ofthe congregation, Bernie, walk in with a St. Bernard dog. The Rabbi,horrified, asked the Cantor to continue the service and went to talk toBernie.Rabbi: “What are doing here with a dog?”Bernie: “The dog came here to pray.””Oh, come on.” says the Rabbi.”YES!” says Bernie.Rabbi: […]
Three Pastors from the south were having lunch in a diner. One said, “Ya know, since summer started I’ve been having trouble with bats in my loft and attic at church. I’ve tried everything-noise, spray, cats-nothingseems to scare them away. Another said, “Yea, me too. I’ve got hundreds living in my belfry and in the […]
A little nine year old girl was in church with her mother when she started feeling ill. “Mommy,” she said. “Can we leave now?” “No,” her mother replied. “Well, I think I have to throw up!” “Then go out the front door and to the back of the church and throw up behind a bush.” […]
A preacher was completing a temperance sermon: with great expression he said, “If I had all the beer in the world, I’dtake it and throw it into the river.”With even greater emphasis he said, “And if I had all the wine in the world, I’d take it and throw it into the river.”And then finally, […]
Q. How can you tell if someone is half Catholic and half Jewish?A. When he goes to confession, he takes a lawyer with him.
