The teacher is droning away in the classroom when he notices a student sleeping way up in the back row. The teacher shouts to the sleeping student’s neighbor, “Hey wake that student up!”The neighbor yells back, “You put him to sleep, you wake him up!”
Teacher: Johnny, you know you can’t sleep in my class.Johnny: I know. But maybe if you were just a little quieter, I could.
“If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up” said the sarcastic teacher. After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet.”Now then mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?” enquired the teacher with a sneer.”Well, actually I don’t,” said the student, “but I hate to see you standing […]
“Isn’t the principal a dummy!” said a boy to a girl.”Say, do you know who I am?” asked the girl.”No.””I’m the principal’s daughter.””And do you know who I am?” asked the boy.”No,” she replied.”Thank goodness!”
Teacher: Why are you late, Joseph?Joseph: Because of a sign down the road.Teacher: What does a sign have to do with your being late?Joseph: The sign said, “School Ahead, Go Slow!”
A little kid’s in school, taking a true-false test and he’s flipping a coin. At the end of the test he’s flipping the coin again. The teacher says, “What are you doing?” He says, “Checking my answers.”
What do you get when you add 2 apples to 3 apples? A senior high school math problem.
How many schoolteachers does it take to change a light bulb?None. Anything not completed during the lesson is added to the homework.
Man: “How’s your history paper coming?”Woman: “Well, my history professor suggested that I use the Internet for research, and it’s been very helpful. Man: “Really?”Woman: “Yes! I’ve already located 17 people who sell them!”
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, he said: “Now, students, if I stood on my head the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I should turn red in the face.” “Yes, sir,” the boys said. “Then why is it that […]
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. “Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, ‘There’s Jennifer; she’s a lawyer,’ or ‘That’s Michael, he’s a doctor.’”A small voice […]
A college business professor could not help but notice that one of his students was late to class for the third time that week. Before class ended he went around the room asking students some questions about the day’s lecture. Of course, he made sure to pick on his tardy pupil. “And who was it […]
