Ned: What does your Dad sell ?Ed: Salt.Ned: Well, my dad is a salt seller, too.Ed: Shake.

What does a carpet salesman give his wife for Valentine’s Day? Rugs and kisses!

A famous art collector is walking through the city when he notices a mangy cat lapping milk from a saucer in the doorway of a store and he does a double take. He recognizes that the saucer is extremely old and very valuable, so he walks casually into the store and offers to buy the […]

What happened when the man asked the salesman for a good belt?”O.K., you asked for it,” the salesman said as he gave him a good belt.

Had a door-to-door salesman call one time selling of all things — burial plots. I told him that we already had our plots in another cemetery.He seemed uncertain as to what to say next, but he recovered to say politely, “I hope you’ll be very happy there.” […]

Patient: Doctor, you have to help me stop talking to myself. Doctor: Why is that? Patient: I’m a salesman and I keep selling myself things I don’t want.

“No, no, no!” said the enraged businessman to the persistent salesman. “I cannot see you today!” “That’s fine,” said the salesman, “I’m selling spectacles.”

Salesman: Roll up, roll up! Come to our mammoth sale. Mammoth bargains to be had in our mammoth sale. Customer: Forget it! No one round here’s got room in their houses for a mammoth.

A traveling salesman was held up by a bad storm in the Hawaiian Islands. He sent an e-mail to his corporate headquarters advising them that he was stranded for a few days and requested instructions.The reply came back shortly: “Begin vacation as of yesterday.”

Insurance agent to would-be client: “Don’t let me frighten you into a hasty decision. Sleep on it tonite. If you wake in the morning, give me a call then and let me know.

The couple was standing staring at one of the more expensive models in the auto showroom. A salesman sensing their debate over the price moved in and said, “This model is priced just over the car which is priced a few dollars above the car which costs no more than some models of the lowest […]

An insurance salesman was getting nowhere in his efforts to sell a policy to a farmer. “Look at it this way sir.” he said finally. “How would your wife carry on if you should die ?””Well…” drawled the weather-beaten man, “I don’t reckon that’d be any concern of mine — long as she behaves herself […]