Q: Why shouldn’t violists take up mountaineering?A: Because if they get lost, it takes ages before anyone notices that they’re missing.
Jacques Thibault, the violinist, was once handed an autograph book by a fan while in the greenroom after a concert.”There’s not much room on this page,” he said. “What shall I write?”Another violinist, standing by, offered the following helpful hint, “Write your repertoire.”
Two violinists make a pact that whoever dies first, he will contact the other and tell him what life in Heaven is like. Poor Max has a heart attack and dies.He manages to make contact with Abe the next day.Abe says, “I can’t believe this worked! So what is it like in Heaven?”Max replies, “Well, […]
“Haven’t I seen your face before?” a judge demanded, looking down at the defendant.”You have, Your Honor,” the man answered hopefully. “I gave your son violin lessons last winter.””Ah, yes,” recalled the judge. “Twenty years!”
Q: What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?A: Everyone is happy when the case is closed.
Q: Why is a violinist like a Scud missile?A: Both are offensive and inaccurate.
Q: What is the difference between a violist and a terrorist?A: Terrorists have sympathizers.
Q: Why don’t violists play hide and seek?A: Because no one will look for them.
Q: How do you make a violin sound like a viola?A: Play in the low register with a lot of wrong notes.
Q: What is the difference between a violin and a viola?A: A viola burns longer.
Q: Why does a viola burn longer than a violin?A: It is usually still in the case.
A violist comes home late at night to discover fire trucks, police cars, and a smoking crater where his house used to be.The chief of police comes over to him and tells him, “While you were out, the conductor came to your house, killed your family, and burned the house down.”The violist replied, “You’re kidding! […]
