A father came home from a long business trip to find his son riding a very fancy new 10 speed bike. “Where did you get the money for the bike? It must have cost $300.” “Easy, Dad,” the boy replied. “I earned it hiking.” “Come on,” the father said. “Tell me the truth.” “That is […]

An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can removea “Curse” he has been living with for the last 40 years.The Wizard says “maybe, but you will have to tell me theexact words that were used to put the curse on you.”The old man says without hesitation”I now pronounce you man […]

The local courtroom was packed as testimony began in thesentencing hearing of a woman convicted of murdering herhusband of 20 years by poisoning his coffee.The defense attorney knew he had his work cut out for himtrying to make his client appear more sympathetic to theJudge, especially since she had been so “matter-of-fact”about the whole thing […]

“I bet you don’t know what day this is”, said the wife toher husband as he made his way out the front door. The husband was perplexed, but was always a quick thinker:”Of course I do, my dear. How could I forget!?” With that,he turned and rushed to catch the bus for work.At 10 AM, […]

After the fall in Garden of Eden, Adam was walking with his sons Cain andAbel. They passed by the ruins of the Garden of Eden. One of the boysasked, “What’s that?” Adam replied, “Boys, that’s where your mother ateus out of house and home.”

A funeral service is being held in a church for a woman who has just passed away. At the end of the service, the pall-bearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket. They hear a faint moan.They open the casket and find that the woman is actually […]

The Yuppie showered a Yuppette with gifts for over a month. He took her to fancy restaurants and expensive resorts. Finally, he proposed, “Bernie, if you will marry me, I have enough money to provide you with anything your little heart desires.””Sorry John.” she replied. “I’m not ready to settle down yet. And besides, you […]

I overheard a friend telling his pal, “I can’t break my wife of the habit of staying up until 5 in the morning.””What is she doing?”, the pal asks.”Waiting for me to get home.”

Attorney to witness: “What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?”Witness: “Where am I Cathy?”Attorney: “And why did that upset you?”Witness: “Because my name is Susan.”

A concerned husband went to a doctor to talk about his wife. He says to thedoctor, “Doctor, I think my wife is deaf because she never hears me thefirst time and always asks me to repeat things.” “Well,” the doctorreplied, “go home and tonight stand about 15 feet from her and saysomething to her. If […]

A man comes home early from work and finds his wife and his bestfriend in bed. The man throws up his hands in disbelief and says, “MyGod Pete !!! I more-or-less ‘have to’, but YOU ???”

A friend of mine told me he had signed up with one of these on-linedating services. I asked him the other day if he had had any luck andhe said he’d quit — seems they’d matched him up with his wife.