Why do you think your report should be on the net?Because my marks are all ‘E’s.

You’re a big Internet fan aren’t you?Yes – it’s becoming a habit!

You’re a big internet fan, arn’t you?Yes, I really get a buzz out of it!

Teacher: Why are you pushing garlic into the computer’s disk drive?Pupil: To keep vampires off the InternetTeacher: But there aren’t any vampires on the InternetPupil: See? It works, doesn’t it?

Where’s Spiderman’s home page?On the world wide web.

Why did the mummy stop using the Internet?He was getting far too wrapped up in it.

I never thought that the Internet was very useful, but now I’ve changed my mind.Let’s hope your new one works better then the one you had before.

I see you’ve got your bill for using the InternetYes, and my dad’s really going to get the hump!

I use the internet to tell me what the weather’s like.How do you do that?I carry my laptop outside and if it gets wet, I know it’s raining!

Since you’ve discovered the Internet, you don’t pay any attention to me!Who said that?

So what exactly can I learn on the Internet?Anything you like – it can even teach you to talk like an Indian.How?See? It’s working already.

Teacher: Don’t forget to check the Internet if you have trouble with your homework questions.Pupil: It’s not the questions I have trouble with, it’s the answers.