Tyfus applied for a job in a factory. The company doctor who was giving him a physical asked, “Have your eyes ever been checked?” “No,” said the worker. “They’ve always been brown.”
Chaffee could talk on any subject whether he knew anything about it or not. Mostly he didn’t. One day his neighbor Nibley could stand no more. “Do you realize,” asked Nibley, “that you and I know all there is to be known?” “Do you really think so?” said Chaffee. “How do you figure that?” “Easy,” […]
What has eight legs and an IQ of forty? Four guys watching a baseball game.
Young Bradley arrived at his date’s house wearing a shirt that had water dripping from it. “What’re you doin’?” asked his girlfriend. “How come your shirt is soakin’ wet?” “Well,” said Bradley, “it said on the label: WASH AND WEAR.”
Loomis: Does your dog have a license? Fenton: Hell, no! I do all the drivin’.
Did you hear about the dumb father who got up and struck a match to see if he had blown out the candle?
Personnel Director: What would you do if you broke your arm in two places? Vanderkron: I wouldn’t go to these places no more!
Did you hear about the dimwit who was so dumb he thought Gatorade was welfare for crocodiles?
“Can you read Chinese?” “Yes, but only when it’s printed in English.”
Did you hear about the rookie Rhode Island cop who gave out twenty-two parking tickets before he found out he was at a drive-in movie?
Hoot: How the hell can ya be so stupid? Jessie: Well, it ain’t somethin’ yew can pick up overnight.
