Did you hear about the dumb father who returned from lunch and saw a sign on his door, “Back in 30 minutes,” so he sat down to wait for himself?

Did you hear about the Iranian terrorist who switched off the fans of his stolen helicopter because he couldn’t stand the draft?

The Albanian planted lightbulbs in his garden. He heard that tulips grew from bulbs.

Why are Canadians given only a half hour for lunch? They don’t want to have to retrain them.

Did you hear about the guy from Newfoundland who was twenty-two years old before he knew which part of the olive to throw away?

And then there was the Newfie who was found dead in his jail cell with twelve bumps on his head. He’d tried to hang himself with a rubber band.

Edney and Cole, two Ohio Edison electrical repairmen, were working on a blown house circuit. “Hey, Cole!” said Edney. “See those two wires?” “Sure,” Cole answered. “Now just grab one of them.” Cole grabbed one of the wires. “Feel anything?” asked his partner. “Not a thing,” answered Cole. “Good!” said Edney. “Don’t touch the other […]

Duayne met Patricia Ann from Birmingham at a Tus-caloosa ballroom. They danced every dance together. When the evening was over, he asked if he could see her next time he was in town. “Yes,” replied Patricia Ann shyly. The young man hurriedly took out his pad and pencil and asked, “What’s your number?” “CApitol 4-6173.” […]

Rigby drove into the city with his girl to catch their first play at a theater. Rigby rushed up to the box office and said, “Gimme two tickets for tonight’s show.” “Sorry,” said the box office attendant. “There are no seats left. We have only two standing rooms left.” “Well, I’ll be hog tied! Only […]

Tyfus applied for a job in a factory. The company doctor who was giving him a physical asked, “Have your eyes ever been checked?” “No,” said the worker. “They’ve always been brown.”

Chaffee could talk on any subject whether he knew anything about it or not. Mostly he didn’t. One day his neighbor Nibley could stand no more. “Do you realize,” asked Nibley, “that you and I know all there is to be known?” “Do you really think so?” said Chaffee. “How do you figure that?” “Easy,” […]

What has eight legs and an IQ of forty? Four guys watching a baseball game.