Delta Airlines recently introduced a special half-fare rate for wives accompanying their husbands on business trips. Anticipating some valuable testimonials, the publicity department of the airline sent out letters to all the wives of businessmen who used the special rates, asking how they enjoyed their trip. Responses are still pouring in asking, “What trip?”

Brendan had spent a week visiting his family in Kentucky. His sister-in-law and seven-year-old nephew went with him when he returned to the airport. After verifying his seat number with the counter attendant, Brendan walked back to his relatives and stated that he’d have to wait an additional three hours in the airport. “How come?,” […]

Taxiing down the tarmac, the jetliner abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate. After an hour-long wait, it finally took off.A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, “What was the problem?””The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine,” explained the flight attendant, “and it took us a while to […]

Tower: What’s your heigth and position?Pilot: Well, I’m 6 foot tall and I’m sitting front left.

Air Force One crashed in the middle of rural America. Panic stricken the Secret Service mobilized and descended on the farm in force. When they got there, the wreckage was clear. The aircraft was totally destroyed with only a burned hulk left smoldering in a tree line that bordered a farm. Secret Service descended upon […]

An airline stewardess was giving the standard safety briefing to the passengers. She had just finished saying ‘In the event of a water landing, your seat cushion may be used as a flotation device,’ when a man remarked, “Hey! If the plane can’t fly, why should I believe the seat can float?”

Flying to Los Angeles from San Francisco the other day, a passenger noticed that the “Fasten Seat Belts” sign was kept lit during the whole journey although the flight was a particularly smooth one.Just before landing, he asked the stewardess about it.”Well,” she explained, “up front there are 17 University of California girls going to […]

A pilot and a co-pilot were descending for a landing at an airport they had never been to before. The pilot looked out the windshield, and suddenly exclaimed to the co-pilot: “Holy cow! Look how short the runway is! I’ve never seen one that short!”The co-pilot looked out the windshield. “Wow! you’re right! That’s incredible! […]

Tower: Hawk 20, is this the same aircraft declaring emergency about two hours ago ?Pilot: Negativ, Sir. It’s only the same pilot.

A blind man was describing his favorite sport, parachuting. When asked how this was accomplished, he said that things were all done for him: “I am placed in the door with my seeing eye dog and told when to jump. My hand is placed on my release ring for me and out I go with […]

At one of the packed, Delta ticket counters all of ticket agents were doing their best to politely process each passenger as quickly as they could. A man toward the end of the snaking line of passengers was obviously impatient and very frustrated at having to wait so long in the slow moving line. He […]

An airline pilot was scheduled to take a flight from New York to Los Angeles. The weather was too bad in New York to allow his usual on time departure. The weather in New York finally cleared and the pilot asked forhis departure clearance. He was very dismayed to hear that he had another delay […]