Where does the aardvark family always come first?In the phone book!

When is an aardvark jumpy?When he’s got ants in his pants!

Which aardvark holds the speed record?The nearsighted aardvark, who wrapped his tongue around a motorcycle!

What do you call a boxing match between two aardvarks?A snout bout!

Why do aardvarks make undesirable neighbors?Because they always have their noses in other people’s business!

Did you hear about the household appliance that eats ants and records TV shows?It’s the VCRdvard

What do you call an aardvark that’s just won a fight?A well ‘aardvark!

What do you call a three-footed aardvark?A yardvark!

What does an aardvark get when he overeats?Ant-digestion!

What do you call an aardvark that’s just lost a fight?A vark!

What do you call an road construction aardvark?A tarredvark!

What does an aardvark take for ant-digestion?Anta-Seltzer!