Post by: admin
Men are like placemats. They only show up when there’s food on the table.
Men are like mascara. They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
Men are like bike helmets. They are handy in an emergency, but otherwise they just look silly.
Psychiatrist to Internal Revenue agent on couch: “Nonsense! No way does everyone in the world hate you — everyone in the US perhaps, but certainly not everyone in the world.”
A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children. “You all have obsessions,” he observed.To the first mother he said, “You are obsessed with eating. You even named your daughter Candy.”He turned to the second mom. “Your obsession is money. Again, it manifests itself in your child’s name, […]
A young woman took her troubles to a psychiatrist. “Doctor, you must help me,” she pleaded. “It’s gotten so that every time I date a nice guy, I end up in bed with him. And then afterward, I feel guilty and depressed for a week.””I see,” nodded the psychiatrist. “And you, no doubt, want me […]
A psychologist is at a party talking with a small group of people, when a man comes up behind him and taps him on the shoulder. The psychologist turns around and the man hauls off and decks him. The psychologist gets up, brushes himself off, turns to the group and declares: “That’s his problem.”
What is the difference between a psychiatrist and a psychologist?If you say to a psychiatrist “I hate my mother,” he will ask “Why do you say that?” while a psychologist will say “Thank you for sharing that with us.”
Coach Bobby Ross had put together the perfect Lions team. The only thing he was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges, and even the high schools, but he couldn’t find a ringer quarterback who could ensure a Super Bowl win. Then one night, while watching CNN, he saw a war-zone […]
General Heath, a famous lover of parade music and marching drill ceremonies, once listened to a symphonic orchestra playing.When asked about his impressions, he commented:”No military precision in drill…””Why?””Did you see those violin players? They were moving their bows not in cadence.”
A retired sergeant was asked: “Well, how do you like civilian life?””Terrible,” he said gruffly, “all those people around and nobody in charge!”
