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Three men: an editor, a photographer, and a journalist are covering a political convention in Miami. They decide to walk up and down the beach during their lunch hour. Halfway up the beach, they stumbled upon a lamp. As they rub the lamp a genie appears and says “Normally I would grant you three wishes, […]
A cub reporter for a small town newspaper was sent out on his first assignment. He submitted the following report to his editor. “Mrs. Smith was injured in a car accident today. She is recovering in County Hospital with lacerations on her breasts.”The Editor scolded the new reporter, “This is a family paper. We don’t […]
When a visitor to a small town in Georgia came upon a wild dog attacking a young boy, he quickly grabbed the animal and throttled it with his two hands.A reporter saw the incident, congratulated the man and told him the headline the following day would read, “Valiant Local Man Saves Child by Killing Vicious […]
The cross eyed judge looked at the three defendants in the dock and said to the first one, “So how do you plead?””Not guilty” said the second defendant.”I wasn’t talking to you” the judge replied.”I never said a word” the third defendant replied.
The defendant stood up in the dock and said to the judge, “I dont recognize this court!””Why?” asked the Judge.”Because you’ve had it decorated since the last time I was here.”
Taking his seat in his chambers, the judge faced the opposing lawyers. “So,” he said, “I have been presented, by both of you, with a bribe.” Both lawyers squirmed uncomfortably. “You, attorney Leon, gave me $15,000. And you, attorney Campos, gave me $10,000.”The judge reached into his pocket and pulled out a check. He handed […]
A red-faced judge convened court after a long lunch. The first case involved a man charged with drunk driving who claimed it simply wasn’t true.”I’m as sober as you are, your honor,” the man claimed. The judge replied, “Clerk, please enter a guilty plea. The defendant is sentenced to 30 days.”
The Judge admonished the witness, “Do you understand that you have sworn to tell the truth?””I do.””Do you understand what will happen if you are not truthful?””Sure,” said the witness. “My side will win.”
After being away on business, Tim thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift.”How about some perfume?” he asked the cosmetics clerk.She showed him a bottle costing $50.00.”That’s a bit much,” said Tim, so she returned with a smaller bottle for $30.00.”That’s still quite a bit,” Tim complained.Growing annoyed, the clerk […]
What do you do if King Kong sits in front of you at the cinema? Miss most of the film!
What happened when King Kong swallowed Big Ben?He found time-consuming.
