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two mates at a pub having a beer when the bald one starts complaining about being bald. the other guy says to have a transplant operation.the bald guy says he cant afford it.so his mate says to go and have some rabbits tattooed on his head. The bald guy says how will that help? His […]
Woman: Why are you begging for a quarter?Beggar: I didn’t think someone like you would give me a dollar.
“What did George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Christopher Columbus all have in common? They were all born on holidays.”
“You know an ancestor of mine came over on the Mayflower.” “Really? Which rat was he?”
Teacher: “What did the Indians bring to the first Thanksgiving?” Student: “Baseballs.” Teacher: “Baseballs?” Student: “Yeah, they were Cleveland Indians!”
A man dies and goes to Heaven. He gets to meet GOD and asks GOD if he can ask him a few questions.”Sure,” GOD says, “Go right ahead”. “OK,” the man says. “Why did you make women so pretty?”GOD says, “So you would like them.” “OK,” the guy says. “But how come you made them […]
A new York Divorce Lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. Saint Peter asks him “What have you done to merit entrance into Heaven?” The Lawyer thought a moment, then said, “A week ago, I gave a quarter to a homeless person on the street.” Saint Peter asked Gabriel to check this out in […]
Three men were standing in line to get into heaven one day. Apparently it had been a pretty busy day, though, so Peter had to tell the first one, “Heaven’s getting pretty close to full today, and I’ve been asked to admit only people who have had particularly horrible deaths. So what’s your story?” So […]
A forester and a lawyer were in car accident and showed up at the pearly gates together.St. Peter greets them at the pearly gates and takes them to the homeswhere they will spend all of eternity. They get into St. Peter’s holy vehicle and head on down a gold road, which turns into a platinum […]
Three men died in a car accident and met Jesus himself at the Pearly Gates. The Lord spoke unto them saying, “I will ask you each a simple question. If you tell the truth I will allow you into heaven, but if you lie….Hell is waiting for you. To the first man the Lord asked, […]
“Will I ever be able to race my horse again” the owner asked the vet.The vet replied, “You certainly will, and you’ll probably beat her too!”
