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An Englishman, Frenchman, Mexican, and Texan were flying across country on a small plane when the pilot comes on the loud speaker and says ” We’re having mechanical problems and the only way we can make it to the next airport is for 3 of you to open the door and jump, at least one […]
There were three Aggies; one crane operator, one pole climber, one guide. The guide tied the crane to the end of a pole. The crane operator would then pick the pole up on end. The climber climbed to the top and dropped a tape measure which the guide promptly read and noted the measurement. The […]
Three Englishmen were in a bar and spotted an Irishman. So, one of the Englishmen walked over to the Irishman, tapped him on the shoulder, and said, “Hey, I hear your St. Patrick was a drunken loser.””Oh really, hmm, didn’t know that.”Puzzled, the Englishman walked back to his buddies. “I told him St. Patrick was […]
A US Border Patrol Agent catches an illegal alien in the bushes right by the border fence, he pulls him out and says “Sorry, you know the law, you’ve got to go back across the border right now.” The mexican man pleads with them, “No, noooo Senior, I must stay in de USA! Pleeeze!” The […]
The Fire brigade phones George Graham in the early hours of Sunday morning.”Mr Graham sir, White Hart Lane is on fire!””The cups man! Save the cups!” cries George.”Uh, the fire hasn’t spread to the canteen yet, sir.”
After the fire-truck arrived at a burning building in a small Spanish town, the firemen observed a man dressed in a matador’s costume prancing around on the roof. Four of the firemen held a safety-net and urged him to escape from the burning building by jumping into the net. He refused and loudly proclaimed, “I’m […]
A man who worked at a fire hydrant factory was always late for work. When confronted by his boss the man explained:”You can’t park anywhere near this place!”
A man calls the fire department and says, “Yes, I have just had my front yard landscaped, I have a nice new flower bed, a new fish pond with a fountain and a new rose garden.””Very nice,” the firefighter says, “but what does that have to do with the fire service?””Well,” the man answers, “the […]
How many firemen does it take to change a light bulb?Four – three to cut a hole in the roof and one to change the bulb.
This farmer has 500 hens but no rooster so he goes to his neighbor and asks him if he could buy a rooster for $100. The neighbor says, “You can have this rooster. His name’s Roy. He’ll get all your hens pregnant. He’s a real stud.” So the farmer takes him home and says, “It’s […]
There was a farmer who had a lot of live stock. He had cows, horses, chickens, pigs, and bulls. One day a terrible twister came and the man and his family were only saved by throwing themselves in the nearest ditch. After it was all over, he looked up to see that the house was […]
A jogger running down a country road is startled as a horse yells at him “Hey-come over hear buddy”. The jogger is stunned but runs over to the fence where the horse is standing and asks”Were you talking to me”? The horse replies”Sure was, man I’ve got a problem. I won the Kentucky Derby a […]
