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Q: What is the difference between Dan Quayle, Bill Clinton and Jane Fonda?A: Jane Fonda went to Vietnam.
Saddam Hussein calls President Clinton and tells him, “Bill, I had awonderful dream last night. I could see America, the whole beautifulcountry, and on each house I saw a banner.””What did it say on the banners?” Clinton asks.Saddam replies, “Allah is god, god is Allah.”Clinton says, “You know, Saddam, I am really happy you called. […]
Q: How can you tell Bill Clinton apart from a cow?A: By the wise look in the eyes.
An applicant was being interviewed for admission to a prominent medical school. “Tell me,” inquired the interviewer, “where do you expect to be ten years from now?””Well, let’s see,” replied the student. “It’s Wednesday afternoon. I guess I’ll be on the golf course by now.”
Teenage Driver: But, officer, I’m a college man.Policeman: Sorry, but ignorance is no excuse.
Why do University of Arkansas graduates tape their diplomas to the windshields of their cars? So they can park in handicapped spaces.
How do you know a Brigham Young student’s been mowing the lawn? The welcome mat is destroyed.
What does the N on the Nebraska football helmet stand for? “Nowledge.”
What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk ? An udder failure !
Camper: Look at that bunch of cows.Farmer: Not bunch, herd.Camper: Heard what?Farmer: Of cows.Camper: Sure I’ve heard of cows.Farmer: No, I mean a cowherd.Camper: So what? I have no secrets from cows!
Why do cows wear bells around their necks?Because their horns don’t work.
