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One woman to another at a singles bar: “I’m not as optimistic about relationships as I used to be. These days, when I meet a man, I ask myself, Is this the guy I want my children to spend every other weekend with?”
Shortly after the birth of their second child, her husband offered to take her shopping for a new dress. He endured more than two hours of listening to her complaints about which figure flaw each dress accentuated. As she emerged from the dressing room, having tried on the last selection, she asked for her husband’s […]
Q: Why is a modem better than a woman? A: A modem doesn’t mind if you talk to other modems. A modem doesn’t complain if you sit and play at the computer all night. A modem will sit patiently and wait by the phone. A modem comes with an instruction manual.
A few women were discussing diet tips. When it was mentioned that getting enough exercise and sleep were just as important as watching food intake, one woman responded with surprise that sleep was a factor. Another replied: “Of course sleep is a factor. The only time I’m not eating is when I’m sleeping!”
What did the young witch say to her mother ?Can I have the keys to the broom tonight !
What did the witch say to the ugly toad? I’d put a curse on you – but somebody beat me to it!
Did you hear about the witch who went in for the lovely legs competition? She was beaten by the microphone stand.
Did you hear about the witch who fed her pet vulture on sawdust?The vulture laid ten eggs and when they hatched, nine chicks had wooden legs and the tenth was a woodpecker.
Did you hear about the TV show with FBI agents and witches?It’s called The Hex-Files.
Why haven’t Women landed on the Moon? – Because it doesn’t need cleaning yet!
