A Scotsman paying his first visit to a zoo stopped by one of the cages”An’ whut animal would that be ?” he asked the keeper.”Thats a moose from Canada”, came the reply.”A moose !!”, exclaimed the Scotsman. “Hoots, mon, if that’s a moose then they must ha’ rats the size of elephants over there !”

What did the Hollywood producer say to the Apes in the zoo when they refused to sign contracts to appear in his new film?Stop playing it cagey!

When an ape visits his tailor, what kind of a suit does he order?A zoo-t suit!

FRED: Did I ever tell you about the time I came face to face with a very fierce gorilla?BERT: No, what happened?FRED: Well, I stood there, without a gun . . . The gorilla looked at me and snarled and roared and beat his chest. Then it came closer and closer . . .BERT: What […]

Fred’s class was taken to the Natural History Museum in New York. “Did you enjoy yourself?” asked her mother when she got home. “Oh, yes,” replied Fred. “But it was funny going to a dead zoo.”

What’s the difference between a Northern zoo and a Southern zoo?In a Northern zoo you have the name of the animal and the Latin name underneath. In a Southern zoo you haven the name of the animal and a recipe underneath.

Fred was definitely more than a bit dumb; when his pal asked him how he had enjoyed his day at the zoo, he replied, “it was a total con! I saw a sign that said To The Monkeys, so I followed it and saw the monkeys. Then I saw another sign that said To The […]

Little Jordan wanted to go to the zoo and pestered his parents, Al and Elaine, for days. Finally Elaine talked Jordan’s reluctant father into taking him. And so Jordan and Al got into the car and left.”So how was it?” Elaine asked when they returned home.”Great,” Little Jordan replied.”Did you and your father have a […]

There was this truck driver who had to deliver 500 penguins to the state zoo. As he was driving his truck through the desert, his truck breaks down. After about 3 hours, he waves another truck down and offers the driver $500 to take these penguins to the state zoo for him.The next day the […]

What did the zoo keeper say when he saw four elephants walking over the hill towards him wearing sunglasses?Nothing, he didn’t recognize them!

The Crist family worked at a zoo. Each year they predicted the general luck and overall mood of the year by watching the the gnu. If the gnu’s ears were forward, that meant a successful, joyous year was almost certain to happen. But if his ears were laid back flat against his head, it meant […]

Zoo Keeper:”I’ve lost one of my elephants”Other Zoo Keeper:”Why don’t you put an advert in the paper?”Zoo Keeper:”Don’t be silly, he can’t read!”