What is the best way to talk to a vampire?By long distance.

How does a girl vampire flirt? She bats her eyes.

What do you call a vampire that can lift up cars ?Jack-u-la !

MUMMY VAMPIRE: Jimmy, hurry up and drink your soup before it clots.

What do you call a vampire in a raincoat ?Mack-u-la !

Do you know how to catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut!

What do you get if you cross a vampire and a circus entertainer ?Something that goes straight for the juggler !

What type of people do vampires like? Type O positive people.

What kind of typewriters do vampires like? Blood type-writers.

What does Dracula say to his victims? It’s been nice gnawing you.

What should you do if a vampire borrows your comic? Wait for him to give it back.

Why was Dracula always willing to help young vampires? Because he liked to see new blood in the business.