How do, like, really laid-back types answer the phone? Mellow.

Why did the chicken walk on the telephone wire? She wanted to lay it on the line!

How is a telephone like a dirty bathtub? They both have rings!

What did the answering machine say to the telephone? Take my word for it.

How does a cheerleader answer the phone? H-E-L-L-O!

How can you tell if a bee is on the phone? You get a buzzy signal.

How does a lobster answer the phone? Shello?

Party Host: Hello? Phone Caller: I’m trying to reach a Ms. Nidiot. Her first name is Ima. Could you please ask if anybody at your party knows her? Party Host: I’d be glad to. Please hold on. (shouts) Excuse me, but does anybody know Ima Nidiot?

How does a door chime answer the phone? Bella?

Caller: Operator! Operator! Call me an ambulance! Operator: Okay. You’re an ambulance!

How can you tell if someone who’s just had a perm is on the phone? You get a frizzy signal!

If you cross a telephone and a pair of scissors, what do you get?Snippy answers.