Who designed Noah’s ark?An ark-itect !

Q. How do you make holy water?A. Boil the hell out of it.

A Sunday school teacher of preschoolers asked the students to learned one fact about Jesus by the following Sunday. The following week she asked each child in turn what he or she had learned. Susie said, “He was born in a manger.” Bobby said, “He threw the money changers out of the temple.” Little Johnny […]

Who was the best actor in the bible ?Samson, he brought the house down !

Knowing that the minister was very fond of cherry brandy, one of the church elders offered to present him with a bottle on one consideration – that the pastor acknowledge receipt of the gift in the church paper. “Gladly,” responded the good man. When the church magazine came out a few days later, the elder […]

What’s the moral of the story about Jonah and the whale ?You can’t keep a good man down !

At the first session of a conversion class theminister conducting the class asked, “What mustwe do before we can expect forgiveness from sin?” After a long silence, one of the men in attendanceraised his hand and said: “Sin?”

Morris was passing a small courtyard and heard voices murmuring.He went in and saw an altar with a large zero in the middle anda banner that said ‘N I L’. White-robed people were kneeling before the altar chanting hymnsto The Great Nullity ,The Blessed Emptiness, and The Big Zero inthe Sky. Morris turned to a […]

The congregation was sitting and waiting for the preacherto began his sermon when two masked men burst into thechurch and said “Whoever is not willing to take a bulletfor Jesus better leave now.” More than half of thecongregation jumped up and ran out the door. The two men took off their masks, sat in the […]

What do you get when you cross a Jehova’s witness with a business man?A door to door salesman!

A kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children whilethey were drawing. She walked around to look at the artwork.As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she askedwhat the drawing was.The girl replied, “I’m drawing God.”The teacher paused and said, “But no one knows what God looks like.Without missing a beat, […]

How do Religious Education teachers mark exams? With spirit levels.