A small boy was asked by his teacher, “What is the size of the Democratic Party?” “About 5 feet 2 inches,” he replied promptly. “NO!” exploded the teacher.. “I mean, how MANY members does it have? How did you get 5 feet 2 inches?” “Well,” replied the boy, “my father is 6 feet tall and […]
Why is Congress like a cold?Because sometimes the ayes (eyes) have it and sometimes the no’s (nose).
A tourist climbed out of his car in downtown Washington, DC. He saw a man standing near the curb, and asked, “Listen, I’m going to be only a couple of minutes. Would you watch my car while I run into this store?” “What?” the man huffed. “Do you realize that I am a member of […]
An aircraft is about to crash. There are five passengers on board, but unfortunately only 4 parachutes. The first passenger says, “I’m Shaquille O’Neill, the best NBA basketball player. The Lakers need me, it would be unfair to them if I died.” So he takes the first parachute and jumps.The second passenger, Hillary Clinton, says, […]
A first grade teacher explained to her class that she is a liberal Democrat. She asks her students to raise their hands if they were liberal Democrats, too. Not really knowing what a liberal Democrat was, but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands flew up into the air. There was one exception. A […]
A cargo plane is in mid-flight over the ocean when suddenly the cockpit door bursts open to reveal an armed, masked hijacker to a startled pilot, copilot, navigator, and a passenger. The passenger happens to be George W Bush. (Why?} Maybe, he was on his way to check on the coca plant life in South […]
The President is running down the street one day, and he sees a little girl who is giving away puppies that her dog just had.He goes up to the girl and says, “Little girl, I think that it’s wonderful that you’re doing such a good thing.”The little girl says, “Thank you, Mr. Clinton. Would you […]
A reporter cornered George W. Bush at a press conference: “Many say the only reason why you would be elected for President is due to the enormous power and influence of your father.””That notion is ridiculous!” mocked George Jr. “It doesn’t matter how powerful the man is. He can only vote once!”
Q: How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb? A: One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
A reporter heard Bush and one of his underlings talking in the hallway:”Mr President, how do we know for sure Iraq has weapons of mass destruction?”Pres says: “You think we’re stupid boy??? We made copies of all the receipts!!”
I want to become a politician when I grow up so I’ve made a list of skills I want to aquire, butI’ve only come up with one: Lying.
