Q.How is a heart like a musician?A.They both have a beat 🙂

How do you make a bandstand?Take away their chairs

Hey buddy. How late does the band play?About half a beat behind the drummer.

A saxophone is like a lawsuit.Everyone is happy when the case is closed.

An eight-year-old kid says t his dad, “When I grow up, I want to be a musician.”The dad says, “I am sorry — can’t have it both ways.”

A down and out musician was playing his harmonica in the middle of a busy shopping mall. Striding over, a policeman asked, “May I please see your permit?” I don’t have one,” confessed the musician. “In that case, you’ll have to accompany me.””Splendid!” exclaimed the musician. “What shall we sing?”

1st man: “My neighbors were screaming and yelling at three o’clock this morning!”2nd man: “Did they wake you?”1st man: “Nah….I was up playing my bagpipes.”

Did you hear about the classical pianist who was not a good speller? When she went out to buy something she left a sign on her door that said: “Out Chopin. Be Bach in a minuet”

Q: Why did the boy bring a ladder to chorus?A: He wanted to sing higher!

One day the bass player hid one of the drummer’s sticks.The drummer said, “finally! After being a drummer for so long, now I am a conductor!”

Do you think, Professor, that my wife should take up the piano as a career? No, I think she should put down the lid as a favor.

Q: What do you get if you cross a lamp with a violin?A: You get light music.