What dog has money?A bloodhound, because he is always picking up scents (cents).

Why is someone who borrows money but does not pay it all back like a football player?Because sometimes he gives you a quarter back and sometimes a half back.

If George Washington were alive today, why couldn’t he throw a silver dollar across the Potomac?Because a dollar doesn’t go as far as it used to.

Why was the skunk arrested for counterfeiting?Because he gave out bad scents (cents).

Who makes a million dollars a day?Someone who works in a mint.

If you had a million dollars and gave away one quarter, and another quarter, and then another quarter, how much would you have left?A million dollars minus 75 cents.

How did rich people get their money?They were calm and collected.

Which is better, an old ten dollar bill or a new one?An old ten dollar bill is better than a new one.

What lands as often on its tail as it does its head?A penny.

If you take half from a half dollar, what do you have?A dollar.

How can you be sure you have counterfeit money?If it’s a three-dollar bill, you can be sure.

Why do wallets make so much noise?Because money talks.