A woman got a problem with her closet door – it was felling every time a bus was passing by. So she called a repair man. The repairman comes and sees that indeed, the door falls out every time when a bus passes by. “OK, I am gonna see what is going on, just close […]
A woman and her lover are on the bed in the woman’s home, whenall of a sudden, they hear the front door open and close.”Oh, no, it’s my husband!”The man says, “Where’s your back door?””We don’t have a back door” says the woman.The man then asks, “Well, where do you want a back door?”
A young lady came home and told her Mother that her boyfriendhad proposed but she had turned him down because she foundout he was an atheist, and didn’t believe in Heaven or Hell.”Marry him anyway, dear.” the Mother said. “Between the twoof us, we’ll show him just how *wrong* he is.”
The young immigrant couple had just left the courthouse after being sworn in as American citizens.”It is wonderful,” the husband exclaimed. “We are American citizens at last! Do you know what this means to us my dear wife?””Yes, you male chauvinist pig,” his wife replied. “Tonight, you cook dinner!”
A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for Christmas. A friend of his said, “I thought she wanted one of those sporty 4-Wheel drive vehicles.” “She did,” he replied. “But where in the hell was I gonna finda fake Jeep?”
The angry wife met her husband at the door. His breath stunk ofalcohol and his face was plastered with lipstick. “I assume,” shebarked, “there is a very good reason for you to come drifting inat six o’clock in the morning?””There is!” he replied, “Breakfast.”
One of the bachelors in the apartment development sneaked upbehind an older woman, covered her eyes with his hands, and said, “I’mgoing to kiss you if you can’t tell me who I am in three guesses.”She quickly answered, “George Washington! Thomas Jefferson!Abraham Lincoln!”
A man answers the phone and has the following conversation: “Yes, mother, I’ve had a hard day. Gladys has been most difficult – I know I ought to be more firm, but it is hard.Well, you know how she is. “Yes, I remember you warned me. I remember you told me that she was a […]
“Get this.” said the bloke to his mates, “Last night while I was down the pub with you guys, a burglar broke into my house.”Did he get anything.” his mates asked.”yeah, a broken jaw and six teeth knocked out. The wife thought it was me coming home drunk.”
When Joe’s wife ran away with his car, his money and his best friend, he got so depressed that his doctor sent him to see a psychiatrist.Joe told the psychiatrist his troubles and said, “Life isn’t worth living. I think I’m gonna top myself.””Don’t be stupid, Joe,” said the psychiatrist. “My wife ran off and […]
A man was complaining to a friend.”I had it all. Money, a beautiful house, a BIG car, the love of a beautiful woman, then, POW! it was all gone!””What happened?” asked the friend.”My wife found out.”
“Oh love, what did you ever do to deserve a wife like me?”she said looking lovingly into her husbands eyes.”I don’t know, but I promise I’ll never do it again.”
