Adam and Eve had an ideal marriage. He didn’t have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn’t have to hear about the way his mother cooked.
Q: How do you know when you’re at a hillbilly wedding?A: Everyone is sitting on the same side of the church.
Q: How is a marriage like a hot bath?A: Once you get used to it, it’s not so hot.
Before we got married, I caught her in my arms.Now I catch her in my pockets.
BARTENDER: I think you’ve had enough, sir.DRUNK: I just lost my wife, buddy!BARTENDER: Well, it must be hard losing a wife….DRUNK: It was almost impossible!
Both of my marriages have been disappointing. My first wife left me and my second one didn’t.marr
Why did the 280-pound girl marry the 400-pound man?She wanted a big wedding.
She was two thirds married once.What do you mean ?Well, she turned up, the Minster turned up, but the groom didn’t !
