Iraq has just ordered two thousand septic tanks from Russia. As soon as the Iraqis learn to drive them, they are going to invade Iran.

Why does the Philippines ban rectal thermometers? They cause too much brain damage.

Did you hear about the Mexican bricklayer who went crazy trying to lay a cornerstone in a roundhouse.

Did you hear about the Puerto Rican secretary who was getting so experienced she could type twenty mistakes a minute?

Then there was the Puerto Rican surgeon who made medical history. He performed the first appendix transplant.

Why did Rudolfo salute the box of Cornflakes in the supermarket? Because the label said General Foods.

How does a Russian Aeroflot pilot navigate? By reading street signs.

Did you hear about the Finn who spent a fortune building a storm cellar in case there was an earthquake.

Shingles were loose on Pennock’s roof, and he complained about leaks to Barton, his neighbor. “Why don’t you mend the roof?” asked Barton. “I can’t today,” Pennock replied. “It’s pouring rain.””Well, why don’t you patch it in dry weather.” “It don’t leak then!”

An army sergeant told Private Perkins to go to the end of the line. He did, but then returned. “I thought I told you to go to the end of the line,” barked the NCO. “Why did you come back?” “Because there’s already somebody there!”

Henderson bought a new car and, after he left the showroom, decided to catch a movie. When he came out, Henderson noticed he’d locked the car and left the keys in the ignition. He telephoned the dealer. “Which is the cheapest window to break?” he asked. “You don’t have to break any of the windows,” […]

Did you hear about the dumb father who returned from lunch and saw a sign on his door, “Back in 30 minutes,” so he sat down to wait for himself?