One idiot said to the other, “You know, there are really only three kinds of people in the world: those who can count, and those who can’t.

There were two guys working for the city. One would dig a hole — he would dig, dig, dig.The other would come behind him and fill the hole — fill, fill, fill. These two men worked furiously; one digging a hole, the other filling it up again.A man was watching from the sidewalk and couldn’t […]

An idiot decided to start a chicken farm, so he bought a hundred chickens to start. A month later, he returned to the dealer for another hundred chickens because all of the first lot had died. A month later he was back at the dealers for another hundred chickens for the second lot had also […]

Q: Did you hear about the 25 Irish people that drowned? A: They were riverdancing.

Q: Have you heard about the Irish abortion clinic? A: There’s a 12-month waiting list.

Two newfies walked into a pet store. The first says “I want four budgies.” Salesman-certainly sir, would you like two male and two female or all male or all female? Newfie-I don’t care. I just want 4 budgies! Salesman-certainly sir, what color would you like? We have yellow, blue, gr… Newfie – I don’t care […]

QUESTION: Why does the town idiot take his bedroom door off the hinges and put it to the sid every night when he goes to sleep? ANSWER: Because he’s afraid someone would look through the keyhole.

What did the idiot do to the flea in his ear? Shot it!

Why did the Aggie call 911 in the car wash?- He thought he saw the rotating car washer as a tornado

An Illinois man pretending to have a gun kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines. The kidnapper then proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.

A 9-year-old boy in Manassas, Virginia received a one-day suspension under his elementary school’s drug policy last week – for Certs! Joey Hoeffer allegedly told a classmate that the mints would make him “jump higher.”

A student in Belle, West Virginia was suspended for three days for giving a classmate a cough drop. School principal Forest Mann reiterated the school’s “zero-tolerance” policy…not to be confused with the “zero-intelligence” policy.