What did Hamlet say when he was thinking of sending a message?To e or not to e, that is the question.

Why was the hen banned from sending e-mails?She was always using fowl language.

I’ve lost my dog!Have you tried putting a message on the Internet?Don’t be silly, my dog never reads e-mails!

I tried to send an e-mail and broke my computer.How do you manage that?I think it was when I tried to push it through the letterbox.

When do e-mails stop being in black and white?When they are read.

What should you do if you get lots of e-mails saying, ‘What’s up, Doc? What’s up, Doc?’Check for bugs in your system.

What do werewolves put at the bottom of their e-mails?Beast wishes.

What do vampires put at the bottom of their e-mails?Best viscious.

What do robots put at the bottom of their e-mails?Yours tin-sincerely.

Teacher: You’ve been e-mailing other pupils that I’m ugly!Pupil: Sorry, miss, I didn’t realise you wanted to keep it a secret.