Ralph was driving home one evening and realized that it was his daughter’s birthday and he hadn’t bought her a present. He drove to the mall and ran to the toy store and he asked the store manager, “How much is that new Barbie in the window?” The Manager replied, “Which one? We have Barbie […]

Ruby Alice walked up to the desk of a Bowling Green motel and signed the register with the letter “O.” “Why’d you put that circle down?” asked the clerk. “Cause Ah can’t write,” replied the girl. “Why don’t you sign with an ‘X’?” asked the man. “Ah used to,” she answered. “But when Ah got […]

Q: How many divorcees does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: None. The sockets all went with the house.

Did you hear about the lawyer whose divorce ended up in a nasty custody fight about a dog? When the lawyer won, the dog bit him.

Q. What do a hurricane, a tornado, and aredneck divorce all have in common? A. Someone’s going to lose their trailer…

Miss DeAngelo was a none-too-bright young woman who had moved to Hollywood with dreams of becoming a star. She didn’t find fame or glory, but she did encounter plenty of men willing to enjoy her plentiful charms, and soon she found herself called to testify in a divorce case. When it was her turn on […]

What do a hurricane, a tornado, a fire and a divorce have in common? They are four ways you can lose your house!

A man appears before a judge one day, asking for a divorce.The judge quietly reviews some papers and then says,”Please tell me why you are seeking a divorce.””Because,” the man says,”I live in a two-story house.”The Judge replies, “What kind of a reason is that?What is the big deal about a two-story house?”The man answers, […]

A middle-aged Jewish guy is out to dinner with his wife to celebrate her fortieth birthday. He says, “So what would you like, Julie? A Jaguar? A sable coat? A diamond necklace?”She says, “Bernie, I want a divorce.” He says, “I wasn’t planning on spending that much.”

With the divorce rate so high in America, a new organization has beenformed called “Marriage Anonymous.” Whenever a guy feels like gettingmarried, they send over a woman with crulers in her hair, cream on herface and wearing a torn housecoat to nag him out of it.

Speaking of divorce (I was), this woman petitions the court for adivorce on the grounds that her husband “beats her.” The Judge,wanting every detail asked how often it was he beat the woman.”Every damn time your Honor,” she sighed, “Every damn time !”

I have this friend who has a real dilemma. His wife won’t give him adivorce until she figures out a way of doing it without making him ahappy man.