Q: How many programmers does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None, that’s a hardware problem.

Another customer called Tech Support to say her brand-new computer wouldn’t work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in, and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked what happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked “What power switch?”

There are three engineers in a car; an electrical engineer, a chemical engineer and a Microsoft engineer. Suddenly the car just stops by the side of the road, and the three engineers look at each other wondering what could be wrong.The electrical engineer suggests stripping down the electronics of the car and trying to trace […]

What happened when the computer fell on the floor?It slipped a disk.

The problem with physicists is that they tend to cheat in order to get results.The problem with mathematicians is that they tend to work on toy problems in order to get results.The problem with program verifiers is that they tend to cheat at toy problems in order to get results.

Pupil: In other schools, pupils get a choice of computers to use.Teacher: You get a choice her, too. Use the one we’ve got or don’t use any at all.

Where does an elephant carry its laptop?In its trunk.

Q: Which way did the programmer go?A: He went DATA way!

A person turned on the computer without a keyboard plugged in.When she turns on the computer, the computer finds out that there is no keyboard attached and it gives a “Keyboard Error” message.She then asks “Why did it give me a keyboard error?There isn’t even a keyboard attached?

One guy was on duty in the main lab on a quiet afternoon. He noticed a young woman sitting in front of one of the workstations with her arms crossed across her chest and staring at the screen. After about 15 minutes he noticed that she was still in the same position only now she […]

You have just received the “Kentucky Virus”!!!As we ain’t got no programin’ experience, this here Virus works on the honor system.Please delete all the files on your hard drive, and manually forward this virus to everyone on your mailing list.Thanks for your cooperation.

Many people in computer labs will assure you, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that they were doing everything correctly, and it still wasn’t working, only to make you get up from your nice comfy seat to walk over to the other side of the room and do it yourself. Invariably, after it works the […]