Why didn’t anyone take the school bus to school?I wouldn’t fit through the door.

What do you call a man with a double decker bus on his head ?The deceased !

Cross-Eyed Monster: When I grow up I want to be a bus driver. Witch: Well, I won’t stand in your way.

Q: What is a bus ?A: A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.

What is the difference between a bus driver and a cold?One knows the stops, the other stops the nose.

What “bus” crossed the ocean?Columbus.

Have you seen the bus website?Yes – it’s just the ticket!

Which end of a bus is it best to get off?It doesn’t matter. Both ends stop.

‘Is everyone in the bus?’ asked the driver before he closed the door. ‘No,’ called a lady, ‘wait until I get my clothes on.’ All the passengers in the bus turned towards the door to look at the woman. She got on with a bag full of laundry.

Janet: What’s the difference between a cake and a school bus ? Jill: I don’t know. Janet: I’m glad I didn’t send you to pick up my birthday cake !

Does this bus stop at the river? If it doesn’t there’ll be a very big splash.

Conductor, do you stop at the Savoy Hotel? I should say not, on my salary!