Q: what’s a biologists definition of a graphA: an animal with a long neck

Do molecular biologists wear designer genes?

A couple of biologists had twins.One they called John and the other control.

“A bloke walks into a pub, and asks for a pint of Adenosinetriphosphate.The barman says “That’ll be 80p [ATP]!”

Q: How so you call a member of the finacial staff of the faculty of Biology?A: A Buy-ologist.

An old mountain man in Arkansas was sick and bedridden. He had not been outdoors for a few weeks and had a sharp craving for a meal of wild squirrel. He summoned his half-idiot son into the room and instructed him to go squirrel hunting and bring him back a squirrel or two. He also […]

A group of goose biologists were meeting to brainstorm about the migration tactics of Canada geese. They were particularly interested in applying for a $100,000 Federal grant to investigate the “V” formation of goose flight. It had been observed that one side of the “V” is always longer than the other side. This group would […]

A biologist had been working on a remote research project in the Amazon jungle. Upon his return to the States, he came down with a terrible illness. After his health had deteriorated, his wife took him to a doctor who specialized in strange jungle diseases. The doctor gave him a complete examination and a series […]

A young biologist was sitting on a stump at the edge of their camp. On his face was the saddest hangdog expression. One of the other biologists saw his sad looks and asked, “What’s the matter?”The young biologist said, “They put me in the same tent with old Doctor Perkins. He snores all night, takes […]

There were these two Engineers who decided they would go moose hunting in the backwoods of British Columbia. As it happened, they lucked out and got a moose. Unfortunately, they were about a mile from their truck. They were having a tough time dragging the animal by the hind legs when a Wildlife Biologist happened […]

A biologist from the North Pole was showing a new recruit the ropes of a polar bear radio tracking program. The new recruit said, “I know how the transmitters work, but I have one question–how do you catch the polar bears in the first place?” “I bet you use high-powered tranquilizer dart guns, right?””Oh no!” […]

An 8th grade boy was doing some research for his career report at school. He asks his dad, “Father, how many wildlife biologists work for the Federal Government?””The honest father replies, “Oh, I would say at least half of ’em.”